Broken Heart
by Candy96
Summary: Set after Lindtead break up; Lindsey realize that she took the wrong decision and is ready to change that
1. Chapter 1

Heeeeeello. So I think "I might still don't know how to take Linstead break up" because I write about them being in their oown path... and now this getting them together again. The thing is that I gor a girly moment that was like "I know how it is to have a broken heart" so here it is. There probably will one or two chapters more. Enjoy!

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It has been over a month since we decided to cool things off. I thought it was going to be easier; things would be like back then when we were just partners. I was totally wrong. Stalk out evenings were filled with awkward silences, avoiding eyes contact; in the district it was as if we were taking turns to go to the break room, never meeting each other in the place that held so many memories of our short relationship. At least, during bust it was the same, always covering each other back. That would never change, and for that I was grateful.

Friday night came, and I was turning down another night of drinks with the guys. Jay would be there and it would be, again, awkward, we both would be uncomfortable and that wasn't how I wanted to start the weekend off. Not that I had any better plan, my night consisted in take over Chinese, a bottle of white wine and maybe ice cream and a silly, love film.

I end up crying myself to sleep; I was doing the dishes, a glass of whine next to the sink, the radio playing in the background. One moment I was slightly dancing along the music, and when the next tune started I stood frozen in place. "Little moments, by Brad Paisley", he once told me that it made him think of me, of us, and somehow it become our song. I broke down, finally, I held it all inside for the last couple of weeks but I couldn't do it any longer. I felt my body shake, tears running freely down my face, sobs keeping me from breathing normally. I walked to my room and searched inside my closet for the bag where I had all his things, when I found it, I took his black hoodie and hugged it, my nose lost in the soft-cotton fabric, his perfume filling my lungs, a new wave of tears falling from my eyes. I missed him, I couldn't stand the idea that we weren't together anymore. I thought it was together against the world till the end, but we didn't last forever.

Saturday morning found me lying in bed wide awake, a throbbing headache making its way through the weekend. I took my phone to turn off the alarm clock. It was 8.30 a.m of April 14th, today it'd be our fourth month anniversary. But then again, it wasn't. I walked to the kitchen, his hoodie keeping me warm, I made myself a cup of coffee and sat with my phone in hand, swiping photos of us. Lunch with Voight would be different today, I'd be upfront with him, tell him everything.

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Hank and I were the only ones left, Justin and Olive didn't want to be out very long, after all, their baby was just one and a half month old. We were sitting on the couch, zapping the channels. Hank cuddled me onto his side, resting a kiss on the top of my head. This was his way of caring, being cute.

"It's everything alright kid? You look paler than usual, gloomy."

"It was a hard week, I didn't have some quite nights lately" Now or never I thought.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he made his grip around me more tightly.

"I miss Jay" I felt him sight. "I know you knew about us and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you but you had your rules and already made yourself clear."

"Erin…" I interrupted him

"You said I always leave a string of broken hearts. What if this time it's me the one with a broken heart?"

"How would you know?"

I laughed sarcastically "How wouldn't I know. Every morning I wake up wishing it's all a nightmare, dreaming to be again in his arms, feeling his steady heartbeat against me. I wake up hoping to see his ocean blue eyes staring at me as if I was his completely world and nothing else matters. How wouldn't I know, if every time I see him in the district my heart aches so much, if every second I'm away from him I feel empty." Tears were running down my face, once again in less than 24 hours. I needed to get all out, I didn't care if was Voight who I was actually telling everything I was feeling. "When you took me in I was 16, a whole mess, I didn't care about anything but you changed that, you gave me a family and love. Today I am who I am thanks to you, but I wanna have somebody by my side every day, somebody to share my life with, someone who loves me even in my most vulnerable moment. And I know that Jay is that someone".

I dried my tears and looked at Hank, he was sit still, his eyes fixed in his hands. He wouldn't move or talk or even look at me. I was expecting a reaction, something. I hoped he would understand, be by my side.

I spoke again "This time you won't be my first priority, now I will follow my heart."

"Erin, I already told you that you are about the best thing that ever happened to me and if this is what you want then I will accept it. Follow your heart and be happy, I will always be here to you." He hugged me and then stood up, offering me a hand to follow him. "Now stop crying, wash you face and go get Jay and tell him all that you told me. That boy it's just about to win the lottery with you."

I was just getting into my car when he yell at my front his doorstep "Tomorrow night I'm making dinner, I expect you two here by eight." I smiled, that was his way of telling me that he really was okay with both of us together.

I drove through the city in a rush Jay's apartment was quite far away from Voight house. When I made it I parked outside his building and look at myself in the rearview mirror. It didn't matter that my hair was in a messy pony tail, or that I didn't have any make up on, or the fact that my eyes and nose were still red from crying. I was ready to face him and let my walls disappear, to be honest for once. I climbed the steps to his door, knock and waited my hands deep into the black hoodie pockets.

When the door swung open, my heart broke into a million pieces once again. There stood a petite brunette slashing a wide smile, just wearing panties and a tank top. The scene way too similar to our first night together.

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R&amp;R


	2. Chapter 2

Woooooooow, thank you for your amazing response to the first chapter, tough I was planning on writing a second part, you help me do it quicklier. I hope you enjoy the update!

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When the door swung open, my heart broke into a million pieces once again. There stood a petite brunette slashing a wide smile, just wearing panties and a tank top. The scene way too similar to our first night together.

I saw her, talking to me but I couldn't heard her. I was just too deep in my thoughts, doing my best to stop the tears from falling. Here I was, standing in the doorstep of the guy I was about to confess my love to, facing a girl I've never met. This couldn't be happening, it might be a nightmare. He couldn't have moved on so fast. No when I was hurting so much.

And just when you think that things couldn't get worse, that your heart wasn't ready to face anything else. It happens. I saw him walked into the living room, a towel wrapped around his hips, his hair wet, water dropping to his chest. I saw the shock on his face, his eyes wide open, his eyebrows upward, his jaw tight. I saw the color leave his face.

I heard him calling my name but I turned away and run. I couldn't be there any longer; not without breaking down. I drove back to my apartment on pilot mode. Once inside the quietness of my home, I closed the door and laid against the wall, tears already making their way down my face. I rested my head onto the wall, my eyes closed while I remembered all the times we kissed, our bodies pressed against that wall, until we couldn't breathe; how many times we ripped our clothes away, until we were both naked and released the tension of the day with each other pleasure. I slipped down the wall until I reached the floor. I sat, my head resting in my hands, between my legs; I closed my eyes and saw again the scene from the apartment. I cried even harder, and then I realized I was still wearing his favorite black hoodie and I didn't want it right now. I took it off, and throw it against the hall and saw it fall to the floor. I wanted to stay the whole day crying, yelling, and pitying myself. But a knock on the door stopped me. I sat flat, not in the mood to have any visitors, and then a heard him.

"Open Erin, I know you are inside. I saw your car parked."

Right, he followed me. I don't know how to face him, I wish I didn't have to but the persistent knocks on my door tell another thing. I have to open. I stood up, and for the second time in the day, I looked my reflection in the mirror, my eyes and nose still red, and once again, I didn't care. I was done with hiding things.

He stood in front of me, wearing shorts and a grey hoodie. "Damn it, every hoodie looks good on him" I thought. He walked inside, directly to the couches; I followed him waddling, my eyes looking to the floor.

"What are you doing here Jay?" I was standing next to him, arms crossed on my chest.

He looked at me "I should be the one asking. What were you doing at my place?"

"It doesn't matter anymore Jay. Forget about it."

"Erin, that girl…" I interrupted him.

"Its fine, you don't have to give me any explication." I turned around, tears were threatening me to fall again, and I didn't want to cry in front of him. I felt him grab my arm, I took a deep, shaky breathe.

"She was there with Will, I swear you." (Jay's pov) I felt her shiver under my touch; I couldn't believe she really thought I could've moved on so fast. I stood in front of her and wipe her tears with my thumb; I lifted her face so she was looking at me. "Er, we agreed to cool things off but that doesn't miss that I don't miss you, I still hope of us, of one day…"

"I'm so sorry Jay, I never wanted to cool things off but I was so afraid of telling Hank, and you were already too deep into my system that I panicked." I felt him hugging me, my head resting against his chest again after weeks "I thought that it wouldn't be difficult to go back to what we were, just partners. But after experiencing life with you, how would I go back to be alone again?"

"You have nothing to be afraid of baby, I'm not going anywhere. Not without you." I felt him kissing my forehead; I closed my eyes and sight. It felt like being home. "I will wait for you as long as needed to. I love you Erin."

I looked at him in the eyes, we had never say the "love you" feeling before, we both knew what we feel for each other but never expressed it in that way. I got lost in his deep, blue-ocean like eyes, I saw the love in it, I saw his patience and caring for me. "You don't have to wait any longer, I'm ready. And I talked with Hank, he knows and he accepts it. We don't have to hide anymore."

I saw him smiling at me, his happiest smile I've ever seen; and in his eyes I could see my own smile matching his. I finally did it, I let my walls tumble down and be honest with myself, with what I wanted, I was honest with the ones I loved the most, and I discovered that it wasn't as bad as I thought, it was difficult but it held good results. I stood in the top of my toes, my smile closer to Jay's, I felt his hands around my waist, his head lightly down, I put one of my hands on his cheek and the other on the back of his head, then I kissed him. I missed the feeling of his lips moving in synchrony with mines, his body close to mine, his heat warming me, I missed the sensation of being loved by such a good man.

I broke our kiss, but was still in his arms, my face resting against his, our lips almost touching, I opened my eyes and saw his looking back at me, I smiled shyly and murmured "I love you too. So much." I saw him smile again, his body relaxing and kissing me again. Finally I was happy, without hiding, without secrets, without restrictions. This was a new begging in my life, a new chapter in my book, the chapter of living in love with the man of my dreams.

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I'll probably post a third chapter during the week about Erin and Jay going to Voight's for dinner, would you like that?

R&amp;R!


	3. Chapter 3

Well, here is part 3. It took me more time that expected to write it, at first I wasn't really happy about what I wrote but then words just flow by and now I really like it. I don't believe that I'll adding any more chapters on this story, honestly I don't know what more to add in this timeline, but feel free to suggest something. Enjoy your reading!

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Sunday morning I woke up with the feeling of being watched. When I opened my eyes I met Jay's ones. He was looking at me, the same way as always, as if I was all that matter in the world. I felt his arms around my waist, holding me tight, close to him. I smiled, stirring in his arms, my hands reaching his face, bringing it closer to me and then I kissed him.

"Good morning" He whispered, smiling on my lips, his eyes still on mines.

"Morning" I whispered back and kissed him again. I pushed him lightly so he was lying on the bed and I rested against his bare chest, my hand feeling his beating heart. I missed this, waking up with Jay by my side, his smiley face the first thing I'd see every day, his lips brushing mines. And I realize that I could imagine my days like this for the rest of my life.

We spent the day lying in bed together, watching movies, talking, eating delivered food and making love. Making love, it was new to us, to me. When I was a teen, boys would be in and out of my bed, they'd tell me how much they love me, but they didn't even knew my name. With Jay is different, he cares about me, he looks into my soul, he makes me feel special, he loves me; really loves me. And I love him back, I discovered love with him.

I woke up for the second time this day, now alone in my bed. I looked at the clock of the night table, it was almost six. If we wanted to make it on time to Voight's, we should start preparing now. Then I remembered, I haven't told Jay yet. I put on his shirt and walked to the kitchen, where I found him going through the cupboards, his back to me, he was only wearing his boxers.

"What are you doing?" I walked to him and hugged him.

"Looking for something to cook, looks like you still don't do the groceries shop."

"Don't you worry about dinner, we already have plans." I kissed him.

"You're taking me out to a fancy restaurant Lindsay?" He smiled.

"Actually… I'm taking my boyfriend to have dinner with my dad."

"What?!" his facial expression changed completely. "We are going to Voight's for dinner? He's going to kill me." I laughed softly at his reaction.

"I won't let him, and I already told you, I talked to him yesterday and he invited us. Everything is fine now Jay." He hugged me again and looked at me smiling, his eyes shining.

"So I am your boyfriend." He gave me one of his cozy smiles and I fell in love all over again. I felt my cheeks turning red, my eyes looking the floor.

"Yeah, I mean, we cool things off because I didn't want to be upfront with Hank, now I faced him and I know what I want. I want us to be together and if you want too, then yes; you are my boyfriend."

"How could I say no to you Erin Lindsay?" I felt his arms tightly around my sides. "That's all I wanted since the first day" He sighed. "And yes, Voight scares the hell out of me but he is the only father you ever known, I guess I can do this sacrifice and go to his house."

"Thank you." I gave him a peck on the lips and started running along the hall, right to the bedroom and then the bathroom. "C'mon Jay, we have to shower if we wanna be on time for dinner." I felt him taking me from my hips, his hands already taking out my shirt, his lips devouring mines.

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"Are you really gonna let me drive, today of all of days?" Jay stood next to my car, still not grabbing the keys from my open hand.

"Of course, Voight knows I'm the one with the pants on this relationship but you can always be a gentleman." I sat on the right seat of the car.

He drove all the way silently, our hands holding each other, our song playing in the background.

"_I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me_

_And I thank god that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be_

_It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans_

_When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands_

_Yeah I live for little moments like that"_

He parked the car outside Voight's house, we sat there for a moment, contemplating the night, it wasn't cold, after all winter was almost gone, but there were still some snowflakes falling to the ground, the sun at the end of the street getting lost behind the thunderous Chicago buildings. We saw kids playing in the front yard of the houses, and I dreamed that maybe one day, there would be little Jay's or Erin's playing on Voight front yard. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt Jay's hand on my tight, waiting me to get out of the car. We walked hand in hand up to the front door and I knocked.

"Not key this time?" Jay joked.

"No, that's just for emergencies."

We stood outside for a few seconds until Voight opened the door. He greeted me with his usual "hey kid" followed by a short hug and a kiss on the top of my head. Then he looked at Jay and smiled cozy at me.

I took a deep breath, straightened my back and smiled at my surrogate father while linking my fingers with Jay's.

"Hank, I want you to meet Jay Halstead, my boyfriend."

From the corner of my eyes I saw Jay smile and I felt his arm around my middle, keeping me closer to him. I rested on his side, smiling too, seeing Hank smiling me back. He looked at the floor and then again at us.

"Welcome to my home Jay, come in."

We had a quiet dinner; Voight had prepared lasagna, my favorite. Even if Hank agreed with Jay and me being together, the relation between them was still uptight, but after all it was still the first time they were together, things would get better as time flies on. After dinner we sat in the living room, playing a quest game that was on the TV, as Jay and Hank wouldn't let me answer any question without arguing who was right, I left to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

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As soon as Erin was out of sight I felt Voight eyes on me. I looked at him, expectant. I had been waiting for this moment the whole night. I knew that when there was the chance he would attack me with questions. And I was ready to face him.

"So, Jay…" I stopped him.

"Look Sir, I know that you care about Erin and you look after her as if she was you own blood and fresh. You have to know that I love everything about her, she might have a strong façade, an especial humor, a not so good past, but she is also vulnerable, brightly, sensitive, brave; and I could go on and on and on with the things that I love about her. I promise you that I will do anything to make her happy and I'd rather hurt myself before her. That dimple-smile girl, is all I that matter the most for me in this world." I sight, I let it all out of my chest and I felt relieved. I saw Voight staring at me, expressionless. A few seconds later he spoke.

"That's all I wanted to hear. Don't blow this chance Halstead; I'm giving you a precious gift."

I was about to answer him when Erin walked into the room.

"All done in the kitchen, what about here?" She put her hands on her hips.

"I was just telling Jay about that photo album that Camille made for you. I should take a photo of both of you to put it there. Let me grab the camera."

Voight left the room, leaving me and Jay alone. I walked towards him.

"It's everything all right?" I sat on his lap, one of my arms around his neck.

"Yeah, he really is okay with us dating. I love you, you know that right? And I'm glad that we are here."

I kissed him slenderly. "I told you, and I love you too." I lean onto him to kiss him again but Voight interrupted us.

"I'm fine with you two dating but slowly with love demonstration on my face." He stood in front of us with the camera in his hands. "Now, stay like that so I can take the photo."

I adjusted myself on Jay left leg, my right arm around his neck, my hand resting on his shoulder; his left arm around my waist, his right hand holding my left one; my head on his left shoulder We both smile at the camera while Hank took the photo. We stayed like that as Hank checked the image in the screen and when we saw his right thumb up we both stood and walked to him to see the photo. It was lovely, our eyes shining, big smiles, both in each other arms. The picture itself shown hoe in love we were.

"Thanks Hank, I love it."

"We can have a copy, right?" Jay asked him enthusiastically.

"Of course, I'll give you one as soon as I print it." He saw me yawn and put a hand on my shoulder. "We should call it a night, I'll see you two tomorrow in the unit."

He walked us to the door, before getting into the car I run back to the porch, hugged him and murmured an honest "Thank you." I felt him hugging me back and a simple "I'm happy for you kid".

Jay drove back to my apartment and words weren't needed, he knew that he was spending the night with me. While he brushed his teeth in the bathroom I put on one of his t-shirts and got into bed, waiting for him. The moment he was lying on my bed, on the former empty side of my bed, I pulled my body closer to him and suit myself on his side, my head resting in the crack of his shoulder, my leg over his, my hand on his chest; he slipped his arm around me, kissed my forehead and I fell asleep just like that, in the arms of my man.

"_When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark_

_And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm_

_And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb_

_But she looks so much like an angel that I don't wanna wake her up_

_Yeah I live for little moments _

_When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it_

_Yeah I live for little moments like that"_

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Thanks all of you to following this crazy idea!

p.s: this week I thought about writting a, maybe one shoot, about the talk in the locker room when Jay and Erin cool things off, but instead they decide to be upfront and tell Voight about their relationship. What do you thing? Ideas and promps are welcome

R&amp;R


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